At Least I'm a Happy Drunk

Last night I got home a little early from work determined to cook myself a really nice dinner. I decided to start the festivities with a glass of merlot. After spending almost 15 minutes prying the cork out of the bottle, I poured myself a nice tall glass and started chopping vegetables. The preparation took a little longer that I had expected (maybe because I was drinking), but suddenly I had drunk two glasses and was feeling a little tipsy. Anyone who knows me well knows that I love to dance, especially to cheesy pop music. Sure enough, while my concoction was simmering, I started blasting Kelly Clarkson, Wham, Jackson 5, etc. and dancing around like a fool. After about 15 minutes my cheeks were nice and red and I was giggling like a hyena. I tried to calm myself down a bit and called April. How nice to have a nonjudgemental friend who enjoys giggling as much as I do. When my meal was finally ready, I had kind of lost my appetite from drinking, so I only ate a very little bit (more for tonight!). Of course I had a glass of wine with the food. All told, I drank almost a full bottle. The effects were heightened by the fact that I had nothing to drink at work all day yesterday. I went to bed in a tipsy trance of dilirium, pondering whether or not drinking alone in my apartment qualified me as an alcoholic. There's at least a glass or two left in that bottle and I'll have to drink it tonight before it goes bad, so chances are there will be some kind of encore.

This next bit I am just writing down for posterity's sake because I want to laugh about it forever. Yesterday the students in our lab were discussing the topic of stalking. The general consensus from the girls is that if you are being stalked, you should try to avoid the situation and put safety first. Our one male student, on the other hand, seemed to think that a man who is being stalked by a woman should "go for it." This threw Alison, Hyunmi and I into hysterical fits of laughter. When we tried to explain to him that this might not be a good idea, his rebuttal was, "Katie, you have to understand that there are differences between men and women." Wait, what? I don't get it. Differences, what kind of differences? That little gem of a sentence fits right in with the time he told me that "There are things a woman can do to attract a man's attention... smile, laugh, wink, etc." Not only am I getting an education in genetics here, I am getting an education in life.