Wedding Fever

When I graduated from college, a few friends here and there had significant others. Within the past year or two, engagements and weddings have just been coming out of the wordwork all over the place. This summer I was invited to six weddings - a high school friend, a trackie from college, two non-trackies from college and two friends from Columbia. Next summer, I am already in two weddings and invited to another. I couldn't be happier for my friends that they have found the loves of their lives. However, this leaves me feeling like I'm somehow not measuring up. Since when did we all grow up and get serious, adult lives? I still feel like a kid in a lot of ways. I have been on one date in the past month, which frankly wasn't all that impressive. Furthermore, my feelings of dread at being an old spinster are only exacerbated by the fact that a certain single, female friend of mine (whom shall remain anonymous) sends me articles with terrifying lines such as, "if you are a well-educated woman over the age of 35, you have a greater chance of being hit by lightning than getting married," or something along those lines. When I was home for Christmas, I ran into an old friend of mine from high school at the bar. He asked what I was doing and if I was seeing anyone. I told him that I was getting a PhD at Columbia and was single. His response: "Good luck ever getting a date again after you graduate." Yikes!

I don't necessarily want to get married for the sake of getting married - I don't even want any kind of elaborate wedding ceremony. However, I would like to have kids someday and I'd like to be in a committed relationship when I have them. Plus, with the stress of post-doc positions after I get my degree, I feel like there is only a somewhat small window when I'll be able to have kids anyway. In my mind, 28 is my scary year - the year when I'm going to start getting really nervous about being single. At that point, I am going to have to start taking a more active approach to meeting someone. I've noticed recently though that my scary year keeps getting pushed back to three years past my current age.

For the time being, I get to eat and dance to my heart's content at various weddings around the country with good friends. Plus, if all else fails, I have a deal with my good friend Phil from ages ago to get married at 32 if we're still single. I hope he meets a nice girl by then or he's in for a big surprise! Cackle cackle cackle...