Welcome to the World of Adulthood - You Just Failed Out

Last night I got into a bad mood and I can't seem to shake it. A friend of mine from Columbia, Victor, successfully defended his thesis yesterday and was celebrating at a bar on the UWS. When I got down there, I couldn't find the bar. I saw Hyunmi wandering the streets as well, and even though we knew exactly what block it was supposed to be on, the two of us couldn't find it. So we went a few streets over to an Irish pub, had a beer and headed home. But that wasn't the worst part of the night. The worst part was when I was flat-out ignored by a former friend who then did his best to get away from me by practically sprinting down the street in front of me after we got off of the subway.

At first I thought that I was upset because someone out there disliked me that much. Well, that is upsetting, but in reality, none of us is perfect and I suppose on some level we should expect to be rejected by some people. What really made me upset when I thought about it was that I probably handled the situation poorly somewhere along the way and really hurt someone's feelings. I mean, we were friends and now we're not. I apparently did something so horrible that this person feels the need to literally run away from me. I like to think that the majority of the time I take other peoples' feelings into account, but I know that sometimes I don't and probably act selfishly. God, when am I going to grow up? How many other people have I screwed over? One thing I absolutely can't stand about myself is that I'm all for compassion and tolerance when it comes to the anonymous masses, but in my personal life, I tend to get petty and intolerant. Why is this? Why can't I practice what I preach? It really sickens me. I have to work on this starting now.